Know yourself... don't love yourself

People say that to love someone else you need to love yourself first.

Cock-N-Bull! The fact is exactly reverse.

Tell me who knows a person better than oneself? But if we know ourselves correctly and are truthful to ourself and not habituated to bluffing ourselves into hellucinating that we are good, we should all know how bad we are?

How many men would not have imagined infidel at mere look over a desirable female! How many ladies may not have ever imagined inappropriate postures when lured, voluntarily or otherwise! Dont we know what dark thoughts go on within us when no one else can read them? How many of us can claim to have not let an inappropriate thought not cross our mind? And how many of us have not excused ourselves into believing that by thinking we are not sinning?

In fact, we cheat ourselves into accepting the dark side of ourselves as natural influence. We may not sin, but given a chance we would have. How many people realize this fact about themselves? Only an honest person would recognize how ugly he is and how many dark secrets he has to guard.

In India, a Vidhur (widower) does not go to Smashaan (crematorium) when his wife expires because socially if he goes to Smashan for lighting pyre of his wife, he would not be considered as a candidate for remarriage by our society.

Imagine: The wife with whom he has spent years, with whom he has had the closest physical intimacy possible except that of a child being in mother's womb, a wife who had vowed to go with her husband and vice versa in every walk of life at the lagna vedi (marraige fireplace), vowed togetherness mantra (holy recitals), cannot even accompany her on her last journey out of this world!

Technically, he is right, these recitals talk of walking together in every walk of life, not in death.

So, if a person knows himself correctly and has the spiritual understanding of the right and the wrong, knowing all the wrongs that a person does in life, how can he love himself?

Ask yourself, do you love yourself?
Then ask again, have you been truthful?
The answer may be an eye-opener...

Why I complain here you are...

Twinkle twinkle unhappy stars... why I complain here you are...

Happiness is within us, say all the GURU.

But the fact is, our happiness depends upon others. If someone we love leaves us we are unhappy, if someone doesn't respond to our caring, we are unhappy, if someone tells us some rude words, we are unhappy, if someone is ungrateful, we are unhappy. Unhappiness, unhappiness, we search for you everywhere. And you are so easy to embrace!

But are we really unhappy because of others?

Imagine this: someone you love leaves you and you say you are unhappy because he/she left you. Sounds familier?

In reality though, you are unhappy because you felt hurt that how can he/she leave me? You feel hurt and unhappy because your ego and self-esteem went for a toss when your loved one left you. You felt inferior when they went away. So, in reality are you unhappy because of yourself or others?

You are unhappy because of your own rejection of natural acceptance due to someone's action of not acceeding to your expectations of them, right? Or confused even further?

Lets take a simpler example: Do you know why does a wife weep when her husband is dead? She does not cry because she feels for the death and his pain while death overtook him but cries because she feels, "Now what would happen to me? How will I manage? How will I get all the comforts he brought in? Oh My God! I would have to work, earn, manage things and be insecure without anyone being around to take care of me." How true!

The fact is, we all are human beings, and humans by nature are self-centric (read: SELFISH). We think about I, me, myself. You know why we expect love from others? Because we love them. The day we get above this feeling of love and GAIN KNOWLEDGE of the real truth that we love only myself, I and me, we stop being dependent upon others. We finally realize that we don't love others but love our love for them.

But once we know... will we stop being unhappy?

Nope.

We shall be even more unhappy and angry with ourselves.

So... dont worry, be happy.

searching for treasure?

The moment of joy spent under the willow,
The tear of the eye that wets your pillow,
Sometimes pain and sometimes pleasure,
When given by friends, both are a treasure...

Do U Miss Someone?

Do U Miss Someone............

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible
because u think that he/she doesn't miss u?

Missing someone is terrible
but at the same time, a sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant
anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.
Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that
it's him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will
surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking of
him/her, missing the final episode of your favourite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u
were out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the
stars again, talking about everything, your dreams,plans,future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.
When u realise that he/she isn't online and did
not return your mail, U will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.

It exposes u to loneliness.
It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and lets u
know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.....

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of
loving/caring for him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is
feeling the same is terrible.

U feel as if u are being left alone.
So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.
At the same time, ask if they miss u.

Don't let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoia.
If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know.
If u miss him/her too, tell them. Don't let them wait.

And if the one you are missing can't/doesn't reciprocate,
MOVE ON!!
Life is short, so instead of being hurt & waiting around-Move on!!

Belive in Urself & life, there's someone out there waiting to miss U too...

PAIN...

You tell me...
That being ordinary is not pain,
... I agreed!

You explained to me...
That failing repeatedly is not pain,
... I agreed!

You made me understand...
That being belittled by undeserving is not pain,
... I agreed!

You helped me make decision...
That letting go when you cannot hold back is not pain,
... I agreed!

You showed me life is worth living...
That not being able to end life when desired is not pain,
... I agreed!

But today when you...
Don't see my suffering; don't acknowledge my pain,
... I agree...

Your not understanding me is my pain!
Don't you see this?
Don't you agree?

Message from God... Worth reading...

1. QUIT WORRYING: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST: Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all...God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.
3. TRUST ME: Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE: Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME: I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.
6. HAVE FAITH: I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
7. SHARE: You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT: I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.
9. BE KIND: Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.
10. LOVE YOURSELF: As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget......

Sometimes, people use us, and we let them, cz we are selfish...

Ram was used & abused in his personal life. He was ditched by his wife, who took divorce from him to marry someone else because Ram was not earning enough to keep her in the glory she wanted to afford. Believe me, they had a love marriage. And during the time they filed for a divorce & courts approved it, they stayed together... All the time Ram knew that she was going out with the person she ultimately got married to, while he was out to work.

The next day of divorce, Ram's ex-wife married her new love, her new boyfriend.

Ram, subsequent to divorce worked for an IT MNC & made huge money in salary & much more in incentives. Today, Ram has left all work & has taken a virtual Sanyas! He works for a supposed-to-be NGO, for free. His ex-wife has twins from her new husband & sometimes calls Ram to tell him that she wants to spend her life with him after the kids grow up.

Ram, you know it, you are being used and her lies of wanting to stay with you also are never going to be true. But still, you are continuing to live in the virtual cocoon built by gopsel of deceit because you want to live in that fairy tale someday.

Wake up Ram, I know God is there... but there is no guarantee you would be rewarded by Him for your good.


Kshitiz (23rd Jan, 2007)
=====================
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good human being is hoping the bull not to hurt you because you are a vegetarian... (I wish to know who wrote this one)

Proud to be Indian?!!!

We are Indians. We are proud to be Indians! After all, we have culture, values, parental respect and society that values the aged! We are God fearing Indians who donate millions for setting up temples or for etching own names on even a small marble plate in some community hall or some place of worship.

Scratch the surface of this donor & you would discover the same person who donated a fortune for a roof over God has rented out his 2nd flat to make more money but his 40 year old son stays in a single bedroom alloted to him by his earstwhile donor father, that too with his wife & teen-aged kids & he is accountable for every penny he spends on his wife & children to his father because as an Indian he respected the value of taking care of aged parents. This is not my pigmented figment of imagination, I really have a 40 year friend who leads such a life and his father has rented out another house and demands accountability for every rupee spent by him on his family. But we Indians are great! We live by values, doesn't matter however low that value is.

And we believe in God... What does God do to these people? Nothing... Just like the traffic police, if you are caught jumping a signal, you are subjected to a fine, God also sleeps when such people break the laws of humanity. We say, justice delayed is justice denied. What does God do? The same as Indian Law? If He decides to wake from His slumber to punish the tormentor, the tormentor will get punished, but you get punished every living moment of life, if you are the tormented.

Open the pages of any newspaper on any day and you would come across at least one news of honour killing. Some do it physically and brutally and get caught. Most do it silently, psychologically. Find any Indian parents whose children express wish to get married to someone genuinely good, BUT of their own choice, & parents overnight get transformed into 10 headed Ravans, with each of the brains in the 10 heads of Ravan starting to work synchronously towards separating the lovers. How many Indians have seen this happen in their friend's home, or their neighbour's, or their own!

How many proud pappas of obedient daughters should be hanged till death for gifting their daughters a life time of rape by getting them married to someone other than the one they wanted to marry? How many parents should be imprisoned for life because they imprisoned their children by deceiving them into separation from someone they loved? Most do not even come to know of the tricks played by their family. They use tactics of threat, the eternal ones being telling the young man to get lost from their homes, and the young woman witnessing father or mother sitting with a filling of cough syrup in a bottle of poison and threatening to commit suicide if she decided to not make her dreams commit suicide. Such are our values.

In my opinion, these people should be stripped of the very powers they vest, their homes, their financial powers, and also their very status as parents. Yes, we are Indians, of the 21st century. Proud Indians, with culture, with 330 million Gods, but not enough human.

God - please awaken...

You always tell me to keep faith in God and keep working hard.

Professional:
You know that all that I worked hard for is dis-credited & rewards given to people whose only job in life is licking boots of their bosses. There are clients who are 100 times bigger than me, but are not ashamed to ask for favours from me. However, when it comes to providing security to me their professional compulsions suddenly become the nucleus of discussion. Where was the professionalism when they asked for and took favours?

Do you know that almost every customer expects me to cheat? Otherwise I am not to earn. The problem is, I cannot cheat. I can't cheat for the fake fear of God, so am I to languish? Why does the teaching, "Good work is always noticed & REWARDED", not leave me alone while singling me out to NEVER REWARD. Forget being thankful for the extra miles we go, there are customers who are always feigning dissatisfaction to ensure that I am under pressure and they can extract much more than they deserve or pay for.

I am into knowledge services and it has taken me years to learn what I have learnt, without help, without support, with people downgrading me at all times. Now do you know there are people who ask me, "How much does it cost you to provide this service?" As if I am to earn some profits above my labour costs. What about the years and months I have spent to learn my expertize! They will pay everyone who can demand and can take them to ranson, but I have to give everyone every single accounts statement I have to prove my costs. And then, I have to fight for profits. Why am I pitted against people who are loss makers for the companies I serve, but since they have the ability to lick, they are provided with every amenity and are provided amnesty against every crime (even forgery and conspiring against their own company and taking bribes) because their USP is that they know how to lick and suck up to their seniors. Under these circumstances I am discouraged to provide any explanations or to prove my point? I am honest, I am competent, accept me as I am, or get lost... unfortunately, I cant say it in so many words to people who should listen to this...

Family:
Family members usually extract assistance from me gave but gave me a thumbs-down when I needed help. Some of them even politiked to put me down permanently, but when they could not stomp over me, they maligned me. I will talk of 2002 when I needed work but I was summarily thrown out by a FAMILY MEMBER whose work I did for years and who I had saved from huge damages and legal hassles as also from probable imprisonment. Instead of standing by and assisting, he misbehaved with me, made allegations against me which were later proven wrong, but I had to leave my position.

Even earlier, when I was fighting for my most precious belonging, family members took anti-posture. In fact, not outsiders, but my parents cheated me and all the other relatives toed their line since their interests lay in aligning with them... after all, what could I have ever been: A LOSER!? Can you imagine being cheated by your own parents... who are supposed to be our shelter and supposed to be our most trust-worthy, unselfish confidante? But I guess, they are supposed to be... thats it. It is said that when you need advise, you get plenty of help; but when you need help, all you get is advise. Family members are like that, they come to greet and eat, but when it comes to stand-up for you, they squat.

Friends:
Friends are supposed to be your pillars of strength, but you know that so many of my friends used me as needed me and subsequently displayed their true qualities when they made it big in life. I wrote CVs for my friends who could not get jobs. I wrote not only their CV, but also trained them for interviews, mock tests and reahersals. They got the job, settled in life, but never acknowledged that in the thick of ill health I toiled for them ignoring my personal welfare. Instead of showing gratitude, they snapped contact once they achieved foreign placements which defined their career path.

You also know about my friend whose nincompoop brothers I trained to become a respectable human from the raw animals they were. You also know that I became a victim of Blood Pressure training them for which they rewarded me by unceremoniously leaving my company when I never anticipated. Do you know that they even fraudulently took away money which I have not even asked them to return? Then there is this great friend whose company I bailed out for years. Now he wants money but does not provide services and worse, he also fails to acknowledge that problems exist.

My pillars of strengths are parasites, eating away my strength.

I have lost hope - even from God:
Tell you honestly, this country is of swines, crooks & pigs. World believes the best form of habitat is through democracy, where everyone is equal. But if democracy was good, God would have been democratic, He would have been an equal father of all in this world. Instead, it is God where inequality begins. He gives opportunities to some & leaves all others to fend for themselves. Looks, ascendants, history, intelligence & money; where did God give us equally?

I know from Bill Gates' book to not expect the world to be fair with me. But then, what wrong have I done that everywhere I have been cheated? Am I paying for my past life's sins? Or am I doing wrong in this life? I do not even want to cheat my customers, when in business my only aim should be to make money. Can't God reward me for my nobility? Can't He see that I have been good to His subjects? Can't He take up my cause and punish the guilty? Why is God so helpless? He is supposed to be The Almighty. I have faith in Him since there is no one else to turn to... and by birth we are taught to pray to Him... What would He do if I am out to punish my tormentors? Why should I suffer? I am burning from within... my soul is suffering... why does He not step in? Why should He do something for me after I am beyond repair?

I have been damaged, having suffered diabetes and a hypertensive heart condition in the past quarter. Will God step in only after my death? Or would He be kind enough to kill me to not extend my suffering!

Wake up God - I

All of us try to do good deeds, or at least do deeds that we think to be good. Why? Because we all fear God, believe that God exists & our karma, good or bad, catches up with us. Essentially, we try to be good for our own selfish motives, for we crave to lead a good life & be rewarded by God. If there is anything more compelling, its the fear of God striking us back for our bad karma, multiplying the punishment many times over.

The primary question however remains is, does God exist? I believe yes, he exists, but now-a-days it seems that He wakes up ONLY for the rich & successful; just like the law, the police & the banks. At the temples too, there are 2 queues (if not more), for the VIPs and for the ordinary masses (And they say, for Him, all are equal).

Everyday we come across people who have similar story to tell with varying characterizations. Find me one person who has not wasted his life's important years & sometimes even an opportunity of a lifetime for others? It could be you, your neighbour or a relative. These victims have risked their lives, careers, finances, relations, EVERYTHING - for others who ultimately dumped them unceremoniously once their use was over and done with.

And pray, what does God do to their dupers? He has rewarded the manipulators. The poor victims have lived as losers to see their tormentors enjoying success, all the while burning from within with helpless frustration & impotent anger which ruins their health, social standing and balance of mind, severly affecting their quality of life and their dependents', as well as ultimately shortening their life span.

The victims are never able to pay back the tormentors because they are scared. Scared of God. If their God, their conscience within, would have allowed them to harm, they would not have taken home the bitter taste of being used & abused in the 1st place, but would have struck back with a vengeance. Since he has God within him, the poor guy is left languishing, witnessing the glory of scoundrels who ruined him while the crooked one basks in glory earned out of victim's contribution?

The tormentor keeps intimidating perpetually; only the victim's identity changes. God neither punishes the guilty nor shows them their place under the Sun. The good ones suffer because they believe that God exists, & KARMA ticks.

Time to wake up, God... make Your presence felt, I would want to keep praying to You & not be out to scientifically verify Your very existance. (Not that this threat bothers You, You might only laugh off my thoughts as "being foolish" as I keep waiting to see your awakening.)

Kshitiz (21st January, 2007)
(Modified slightly on 1st February, 2009)